So, it seems like history has a really strange, painful way of repeating itself.  She is talking to someone else.  This whole time?  I dont know.  I want to take her word for it when she says it has never happened before now, and I want to believe that she's sorry, but I can't.  I can't.  I had so much faith in  us.  I thought that it was going to be different.  It isn't any different.  At all.  It's just like any other time/  The same as any other female Ive let into my life in the past ten years.  I really need to re-evaluate my taste in women.

You know, if you wanted to know how I was doing, you could just call me.  I know he hates me for whatever reason, but I would like to think that somewhere in your wacky brain that you still think of me as a friend, as i think of you.  I mean, I am sort of proud of what you have done, if I am correct, that is.  And you could comment anonymously.   But since you check here often enough, I will tell you how I feel.  I am lost right now.  Is it right when a woman tells a man that she misses things her exes did, and wishes he would do them for her?  Is it okay?  I need a married woman's perspective haha.  The worst part it is that no matter what I say, she doesn't ever see herself in the wrong for the things she says.  I tell her how I feel about them and she pisses on the words as they reach her ears. 

{{She tells me I don't understand.  She also thinks of all my exes more than I do.  She gets mad about Katie and Niki, and I haven't spoken to Niki in about a year.  She asks me if I would leave her for Niki, given the chance.  I ask her if she's out of her fucking mind.  She doesn't treat me like such shit all the time.  When it happens, it's bad.  She never realizes how much these things hurt me.  I don't know how I can ever be good enough when I am constantly being compared the ones that came before me.  They must have been great, considering how they're not around anymore. 

I am trying, but none of it is good enough. 

What do I do?  Where do I go from here?