June 1, 2009

• I've got it!!!

  I just don't know how to use it. 

  So I was discharged from the hospital. 

  I went in around 9:00, and I didn't get to see the doctor until 3:30 afuckingm.  Already there's something wrong with this picture.  The emergency room is saying they discharged me while she's admitting me.  Oh... Ok... I'm worried at this point.  I don't know why. 

  So I'm in there.  I was expecting something different.  It smelled... not like a hospital.  Met some really cool people.  That sounds strange, but it is true.  There were some interesting people as well... The man who thought the quarters for the payphone determined what year it was... the same man who on occaison thought he was a 14 year old girl.  THE SAME MAN>>>who believed that his dreams leaked out into existance... like he was in Sphere or he was God... And the martian man... FREEMAN!!!!  hahaha... wtf... The friends in there... They were the real therapy.  Good people... really good...

  Then I realized that I wasn't as crazy as I had originally thought.  Just some crossed wires... or something.  PArt of my discharge plan was to move back in with my parents in Pa.  It's weird... Being here.  Never thought I would be sleeping here... eating here... every day here...

  I dont even know where my head is wandering to at this point.  I just wanna babble to this little box.  Strange... Zoloft and things make the world burst out of its brackets.  It's all going away now... going... going... gone...

  If it matters... I haven't done it since my last post.

  Devin Townsend is the shit.

  Summer's here, the sunlight greets the day
  The winter's gone here's no more rain today
  And if I could, I'm sure that I would take your pain away
  So ain't it funny how after trying to find my way home
  I'm in the middle now and I won't get lost again
  
  Cause in the winter time when everything is grey
  And in the summer time into the month of May
  I get a feeling that it's all so temporary
  And that's the feeling that can take my blues away
  
  Tired of the way that I'm feeling everyday
  And I feel it in my head                                                                                                      Tired of the way that I'm feeling everyday
  And I feel it in my head now
  
  It's beautiful, the way it's meant to be... beautiful, but it 'don't do shit' for me...
  So peel away a little skin and choke upon the bone
  And ain't it funny how after trying to find my way home,
  I'm in the middle now and I won't get lost again.
  
  But you don't know how or when it's gonna go
  
  You don't know.
  -Devin Townsend "Stagnant"
  

   

   

   

  • 4:11 am
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